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Homer Simpson

One of my most loved role models in life has to be a fat little fella called Homer J Simpson (J stands for J Durrr), and so here i've put down some of the big fellas best loved quotes.


  • Operator! Give me the number for 911!


  • Oh, so they have internet on computers now!


  • Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.


  • Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

  • Well, it's 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.

  • You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons


  • Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.


  • When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.


  • Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing.


  • Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.


  • I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.


  • How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

  • Homer no function beer well without.


  • Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?


  • If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.


  • But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.


  • I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around.

  • Dear Lord.. The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal.


  • Beer: The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.


  •  I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!

                                  and finally


  • 'To Start Press Any Key'. Where's the ANY key?

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