One of my most loved role models in life has to be a fat little fella called Homer J Simpson (J stands for J Durrr), and so here i've put down some of the big fellas best loved quotes.
Operator! Give me the number for 911!
Oh, so they have internet on computers now!
Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
Well, it's 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.
You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.
Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing.
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
Homer no function beer well without.
Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?
If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.
But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.
I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around.
Dear Lord.. The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal.
Beer: The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
 I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!
                                  and finally
'To Start Press Any Key'. Where's the ANY key?