# There is no food that cannot be improved by the application of tomato sauce.

# Whether it’s the opening of Parliament, or the launch of a new art gallery,there is no Australian event that cannot be improved by a sausage sizzle.

# If the guy next to you is swearing like a wharfie he’s probably a media billionaire. Or on the other hand, he may be a wharfie.

# On the beach, all Australians hide their keys and wallets by placing them inside their sandshoes. No thief has ever worked this out.

# Industrial design knows of no article more useful than the plastic milk crate.

# It is proper to refer to your best friend as “a total bastard”. By contrast, your worst enemy is “a bit of a bastard”.

# Historians believe the widespread use of the word “mate” can be traced to the harsh conditions on the Australian frontier in the 1890s, and the development of a code of mutual aid, or “mateship”. Alternatively, Australians may just be really hopeless with names.

# The wise man chooses a partner who is attractive not only to himself, but to the mosquitoes.

# If it can’t be fixed with pantyhose and fencing wire, it’s not worth fixing.

# Unless ethnic or a Pom, you are not permitted to sit down in your front yard, or on your front porch. Pottering about, gardening or leaning on the fence is acceptable. Just don’t sit. That’s what backyards are for.

# On picnics, the Esky is always too small, creating a food versus grog battle that can only ever be resolved by leaving the salad at home.