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Aussie bush nights out

Well everybody knows about the major sporting events in Australia, which include Bathurst 1000 the Melbourne cup and the Byron bay wet t-shirt comp. But not everybody realizes that our great Island has a ripper amount of outback events, with some that are world classed that rank among the foremost in the world! So yours truly thought I might give ya my top five sporting holidays, with a review of some of these spectacular events that are held during the year. And I'll also give you some holiday info so you might give one of these Internationally classed events a go mate, you might even splash out and take the misses with you. Fairdinkum if you slide a couple of notes under the table you might even see your self participating in some of them, so with that in mind I'll start it off with No5 with the Internationally famed Duck racing...

In January is THE GREAT DUCK RACE Which is raced on the Peel river at Tamworth during the Country Music Festival, usually there's about 1700 plastic ducks released into the river. There's five different race events for every type of duck to participate, big ducks and little ducks are all welcome. Of cause this is held during the Country Music Festival, so the chances of accommodation is almost imposable. So yours truly recomans that either you try to tent it at Tent city (Riverside Park), which is actually right next to the race track (Peel river). So you could sink a few coldies during the race, and then it's just a short walk back to the hot tent. Your drinks bill will be more expensive as you might have to buy the misses a few more tinnies, as she might have to be well-and-truly pissed to be sleeping on the hard ground. Or you might want to go world class and stay in the Tent city at Wests Leagues Club for around $400 (2 adults) for three nights, and for that you get a tent that is spacious with an awning... crikey. A fold up bed with a 120mm thick mattress! pretty cosy for tent camping mate, but you have to bring your own bedding... bugger. Each tent is carpeted and fitted with a 12 volt light (cool). There's 1100 tents so I'm sure you'll find one that is close to the Pub so you don't have a bloody long walk home, the only problem you might confront is finding which bloody one is YOURS! You know when you have had a shit load of piss, and your wondering along in the dark and you can't even find your house keys let alone your friggin' portable house!

But anyway I give the Duck race a 3.1 star rating but it loses points with the MISSESMETER (which is a very touchy thingiebob), where it came in at 1.5 stars unless the old girl likes a few drinks then it pops up a bit to 2.5 stars.

At a respectable No4 comes the world famous Goanna Pulling Championship.... well world famous in Wooli any way. Now before we go any further can I just say that when I first heard of 'Goanna Pulling' I laughed a fair bit, then I imagined a fella holding a Goanna in one hand and the other hand grabbing it's gonads ha,ha. let's just say not a pretty sight, but when you hear that it's actually two silly buggers face each other (laying on the ground) with a thick leather strap wrapped around their necks, then they pull each other like in a tug-of-war. Which makes them look like a couple of galahs, oops sorry a couple of Goannas.

The World Championships are held in October during the Goanna Festival, so theirs heaps of things to do like Woodchopping, the Broom Throwing comp and don't forget the Wheelbarrow race. Like I said a full fun packed day out at Wooli for the whole family, oh and by the way they'll be BBQ tucker and refreshing drinks at the beer tent... so there's two boxes ticked! Now after a few refreshments in the beer tent you would want a place to kick back and enjoy the rest of the day, so yours truly recommends the WOOLI RIVER LODGES

which is about two kilometers away. Which is probably just a little bit far to walk, so you might want to get the misses to drive back. Now you might have to spend up a bit here but for a pretty good price $120, you can get a Garden Lodge which is near the BBQ Pool area (now where talking). The rooms sleep 5 people easily (so you could bring along a few drinking mates), theirs a kitchen but don't forget the BBQ at the pool so if you use that then there's no washing up!

But if you want to show the 'Minster for War' out for a night on the town, you can take her to 'Harry's Chinese Restaurant' which is located inside the Wooli Bowling Club. Which just by accident also holds the Wooli wet T-shirt competition during the event, so really theirs a little bit of fun for everyone... The misses can have fun playing the pokies, while you can sit back watching some Sheilah's pokies! ha,ha.. does life get any better then that... Wooli you got to love it. Goanna Pulling got a respectable 3.9 stars and the misses would give it 3 stars, unless you take some drinking mates then it slides down to 1.7... bugger!

Now for third spot on me list mate, and No3 went to an old Australian traditional night out at the dogs. So could anyone beat the atmosphere of a night out at the Dapto dogs! Every year they run the Greyhounds Group One Dapto Megastar ($75,000) during September, so if your going to watch The Dapto Dogs then this event is the one to see.

Now you can save heaps on accommodation for the night out as there is free camping inside the track during that weekend, and theirs heaps of places to have a feed at in walking distance from the ground. If you want to impress the misses theirs Mays Restaurant, or get a ripper pizza from Fabrice woodfire Bar & Restaurant. For a light feed during the day theirs a Macers and KFC, and for dinner theirs Thia and Chinese restaurants only a short walk away. If watching the dishlickers running around isn't for the misses, then you could always lose her at the Dapto leagues club which is next door. So while your knocking down a few ice coldies, she could be poping a few coins into the pokies so you both come out winners. And just to put the icing on the cake it is free admission to the dogs, so theirs the money for the first couple of races.... so your already up!

Of-cause theirs a bar for you to start your night off, and for the misses theirs always some cheese and wine tasting going on. So with a beer in one hand and a few tickets in the other, you can grab a seat in the stand and yell out 'Go you dump dog' at the top of your voice. As the night comes in and your pockets are getting lighter and your tummy bigger, you'll be just in the right mood for the start of the Megastar race. What ever happens it doesn't matter because deep down who cares... your their to watch the dishlickers, a fair bit of drinking and maybe the odd win to tell your mates about.

And it's also your chance to live an Australian dream to one day sit in the stand at The Dapto Dogs, the experience sits up their with the Ponsford Stand or even the Bradman stand at the SCG. Fairdinkum it's truly a memorable experience to sit in this magnificent aussie icon, and just breath in the Dapto ambiance.

Coming in at No2 is one of Australia's most spectator sports events that has ever been held, it's The Camel Cup which is held every year during July in the Northern Territory. The race is held on the dusty outback track of Blatherskite Park in Alice Springs, last years winning camel 'Roman Ruma Ruma' came all the way from wet old Victoria to pinch the Cup. With a crowd of just over 6000 happy vegimites chanting on their dusty camels, you can just imagine how much fun you could have sinking a coldie while cheering on your mount.

During the 'Camel Cup' you could stay at the ??? 'Stuart Caravan Park', which is located on Larapinta Drive and received a 'very good' rating on Tripadvisor which is ... well very good! Now if it was up to yours truly I would recommend staying in the ENSUITE 6 BERTH CABIN, it comes with a refrigerator (a must have in this heat), colour telly, microwave, and most important a ripper dunny and a shower (how upper class is that). It also comes with cooking equipment but seeing it's a cheap night, the misses will insist that I part with some money on a scunches meal out. And don't forget it's air-conditioned which again is a must out in the bush, and how much for this I hear you ask.... well it is $90 which I recon is a ripper price, but their is other accommodation at Stuarts some a bit cheaper, and some a bit more expensive it all depends on your taste.

While the Camel Cup is on their is also a free shuttle bus which leaves here, and also brings you back in the arvo so with no driving going on you can sit back and get really sloshed. But if your set for a big night out and want to splash some cash, then just between you and me you could get a top class room at Lasseters Hotel Casino (Double) for only $137 (but you have to pick it up on the internet mate). fairdinkum it's really top notch and you can tell the old girl it cost a fortune, 'but you were worth ever little cent love' ha,ha. She'll think your a top bloke and you'll probably get ya end in too, not a bad way to end a bloody ripper day mate.

But if you do stay at the Park then it's only about a fifteen minute (2 cans) walk to the center of the Alice, so just perfect for that romantic dinner night after a day out at the camel races. Well you can't drink and drive can you, so this way you and the misses can have a skin full and not worry about who is gonna drive home. Now how more romantic can you get then that! (I'll even chuck in the Taxi fair back home, what a bloke) And where to spend that ripper night out at the Alice?, well seeing you've talked the misses into staying in a cheap cabin for the night, you should splash out on a nice up market place for tucker-time. And you couldn't ask for a more up-market place then 'Hanuman' on Alice, which is inside the posh Crowne Plaza Hotel. It's a top notch Thai Restaurant that all the rich folk eat at so the misses would be impressed, but a word of advice your not gonna get a beaut chicken schnitzel and three veg here mate. It's all that Black pepper prawns curry beef vindaloo madras lamb stuff, but there is a wild Barra fillets that sounds like a ripper feed so there you go.

Now as for the rating for this holiday it comes with two choices, the first one is if you stay at the caravan park = I give it a ripper 4.3 stars, the misses 2.7. But if you stay at Lasseters Hotel then I would give it a 4.6 stars while the little misses would give it 4.7. I think I know which place we might end up at hay, well then at least I don't have to walk into town for dinner hay.

At No1 for sporting holidays is the world famous 'The Compass Cup' Cow racing, which is held in the sleepy little town of Mount Compass in South Australia. Now as a spectator sport this is one of the best, as you watch people (jockeys) trying to jump up onto their mounts. Then when their up their they have to hold on for dear life, as the cow try's to buck and twist off the riders at the same time running up to the finishing line. The day holds heaps of other things to get up to like the Milk skull off, or wobbly cow race, Rubber boot marathon and my favorite 'The Dung Fling' ha,ha.

Being in Mount Compass gives you the chance to experience the real rural life, in so doing gives you the chance to hang and talk to real farming bush folk. And you can also participate in Australia's only Cow race, you can either BYO COW or you can purchase one at the local auction. Some of the cows up for grabs are 'SPLATTER', 'DESIRABULL', 'BOG-A-LONG', 'DAISY', 'MILKSHAKE', 'UDDERLY FANTASTIC', 'MEATLOAF', 'WHYKICKAMOOCOW' and my favorite 'PULL THE UDDER ONE'.

It only cost $6 for adults and a donation from the kiddies to get in, and really that's a cheap day for what you get. After a fun filled day you can pop into the Compass Tavern 'with charm' for a nice few drinks, and because your in vineyard country don't forget a nice bottle of red wouldn't go astray. They had ripper feeds so it's a good chance to tuck right into some beaut tucker, before a nice little stroll along Cleland Gully Road back to your accommodation (about 4 minutes .... one can).

Oh yeah I didn't mention that you and 'the minster-for-war' will be staying in a beautiful country cabin, sitting on the clean spring-fed Tookayerta creek. Could you just imagine sitting back on your veranda sinking that beaut bottle of red, just breathing in that peaceful bushland and the smell of dry cow shit. And all this for the bugger all amount of $85 to $100 for a twin share, if your looking them up their called COMPASS COUNTRY CABINS.

And don't forget before you leave in the morning to try to catch a few yabbies from the creek, they would go down real beaut with some bacon n' eggs for brekkie.... does life get any better then this? So what rating does this drinking night get... well yours truly gives it top marks for laughs and a nights drinking around a bush fire 4.5 stars, the the old girl will give it 4.2.

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