Goodbye mum

MAUREEN CATHERINE PAUL

Today was the saddest day in my life.

Over the last four days I have had the opportunity to sit in Belmont hospital with my brother and sisters, next to us in her bed was our mother. I think everybody loves there mum and we were no different, she was an amazing lady and I don't think anybody would have a bad thing to say about her.

When we lost Dad it was sad but we had time to understand why he had to leave us, as we watched this great strong man slowly deteriorate over the years with his sickness. So when he lost his fight with life it actually became a relief that he wasn't in anymore pain, and that his time had come.

But with mum it didn't feel the same as here was the greatest lady in my life just hanging on with every breath, her body was doing everything that it could just to stay with us. We were lucky in a way that we had the opportunity to take our time with her, holding her hand, brushing her hair (she probably hated that) and talking to her. Day after day we as a family just kept talking and laughing, bring up passed memories and saturation's that mum was a part off.

Those last days just seem like a haze and it passed so quick, and then the time had come. All her family was there when she finally gave us her goodbye, we all held on to her none of us wanted her to go but we knew in our hearts that this was exactly the way she wanted to go. And with that she took her very slow last lite breath... And she left us.

In that moment I lost the most loveliest lady I have ever had the privilege to know, yes I had lost so much in that moment but I was also the luckiest person to be able to call this lady my mother. I remember putting on horse racing bets for her at the Toronto TAB, yes you must be over 18 but the lady running it Pam use to let me put them on as she knew they were for mum. I remember walking with her to the local butcher and the bloke use to give me a frankfurt, and I'll always remember mum was always good for a chat. Yes most of the time I was drunk and sitting at the end of her bed at 2 in the morning, and yes I probably did most of the talking but mum was always happy to lissen to my crap and ofcause having a good laught, you knew she was right into your story when she put down her copy of Womans Day!

During my life of now fifty five years there was always a Paul in Toronto expesilly Brighton Ave, It's sad to think that part of my life has come to an end yes Debra still lives pretty colse in Woodrising but that's still not Toronto.

When we left the hospital we were going pass Eleebana foreshore when we decided to stop and get a photo of the sunset over Lake Macquarie, but what we didn't knew is that it would turn out to be the most magnificent sunset I have ever seen.

At the bottom of the photo were Two Ducks which everyone in our family knows that represents my lost Brother Mark, so the fact that he might of been there in spirit just made it feel a lot more special.

And at the very top middle was just one little star it would be nice to say that it was mum's spirit saying her last Goodbye...

'You carried me in your body and you carried me in your arms,

And you rest assured for the rest of my life I'll carry you in my heart'

Love you fruit Bat

xxx